Update

Ok so sorry it has been a while since the last update. First off I wanted to just say thank you to everyone that helped out and came to the concert!! It was such a huge succes and we were so fortunate to have had so many generous people attend. Shawn was able to watch the concert from video that family took. He loved it and was sad to have missed it.

The good news is we are back on track for the transplant!! We were really worried for a while as the doctors are kinda "debbie downers" at the circumstances we are in. However, he finished his chemo and they checked his bone marrow two weeks later and the bone marrow was "empty". If God is going to perform a miracle might as well be a big one right? Although this is not remission it was still wonderful news because they couldn't see any leukemia cells in his marrow!! So that gave the doctors more confidence and let us go forward with bone marrow transplant plans. He is now scheduled to get his transplant on June 17th.

The past week has been just a waiting period to get started again and has actually been really enjoyable. He was able to walk a lot easier and even eat a few things. These are the days that get us through the harder ones. The previous weeks were really hard on Shawn. This chemo seemed to make him throw up a lot more than the others did. As a result of all the vomitting Shawns throat became really inflamed with lots of lesions in it. He has been unable to eat for about the past month. Even swallowing his pills are sometimes difficult.

Radiation started yesterday and he felt the effects from it immediately. He gets radiation to his whole body and the process invovles him standing for the entire session. When he got back yesterday he was literally wiped out, the vomitting started soon after as well. Talk about beating a horse while he is down!! Shawn is going into this transplant a lot worse off than others starting this process because he is unable to eat, very weak, not in remission and his blood counts have not recovered from his last week of chemo. It seems horrible to say this but we are all grateful for him to be at this point. Because even though it would be wonderful to have Shawn start this process a little stronger, the longer we would have waited for him to recover the more likely the leukemia would return before the transplant again.

I'm doing pretty good, so many people ask me how I'm feeling and it seems silly and I often think, don't you mean Shawn? But I feel great. I have been really blessed to have such and easy pregnancy so far, or at least I don't know what pregnancy is supposed to be like and all the other things in life have made it seem easy. Sometimes I forget that I am even pregnant until I look down and see this huge belly. Emotionally I am like a roller coaster. My day is often based off of how Shawn's day is. If he is having a bad day it seems to drain my spirits and really wear me down. On good days though we just hang out and watch prison break together:) Our families have been awesome to give me breaks every once in a while from the hospital which I'm realizing is much needed.

We have also received some really amazing blessings. One of the seventy received a request from President Monson to come and give us blessings last week. One of our friends wrote a letter to President Monson and he read it and tracked us down to have Elder Baxter give us a blessing. It was such a neat blessing and really reminded us to have faith and hope for the future and not fear. Faith is something I learn more and more about each day. There were many powerful things that were said in the blessing but most of all we just felt so comforted afterwards.

One last thing, this post is becoming very long. I need to update more often. My friend Katie from nursing school gave me this really neat book called "created for greater things". It is a compilation of a bunch of quotes from Elder Holland whom me and Shawn really love! In it I read something I needed to hear. Often times I become jealous of others' trials. I sometimes think "why couldn't that have been my trial" or "that person seems to have no trials".

This is the quote: "On this upward and sometimes hazardous journey, each of us meets our share of daily challenges. If we are not careful, as we peer through the narrow lens of self-interest, we may feel that life is bringing us more than our fair share of trials-that somehow others seem to be getting off more lightly. But the tests of life are tailored for our own best interests, and all will face the burdens best suited to their own mortal experience. In the end we will realize that God is merciful as well as just and that all the rules are fair. We can be reassured that our challenges will be the ones we needed, and conquering them will bring blessings we could have received in no other way." _Elder Holland

This gives me comfort and I do know that this trial is one we were meant for and can get through. We have often compared our trial to others we know or hear of and we are so grateful for our own. As we continue to have Faith, the Lord will continue to give us daily victories and we are so grateful to have Christ and Heavenly Father on our side of the battle!!